|
What is a Vampire Penguin?
[ home ] Penguins, in general, are an unruly lot, sliding around on their bellies, eating fish, taunting killer whales, and stealing your beer. Vampire Penguins, Aptenodytes vamperi, are as bad as they come. If you've ever encountered one, you'll understand. They are known to be mean spirited, vicious and dimwitted. Some would even describe then as "cold". Aside from his attitude there are several other ways to identify a Vampire Penguin. While most penguins are flightless (although many are excellent jumpers), Vampire Penguins can, in fact, fly. This, combined with prominent fangs, lack of reflection and an uncanny resemblance to penguins are the tell-tale signs of a true Vampire Penguin. If you see one, cross the street; turn around; walk away. They are not your friend, despite their high "cute factor". Indeed, this is how a Vampire Penguin will lure you into his trap. At first, he seems harmless, even lovable; charming; charismatic. You may encounter one at a party, telling the most amusing little anecdotes and jokes. But reach out to pet him and *CHOMP!*, you lose a finger! Make no mistake! Vampire Penguins are cold, ruthless, calculating creatures. Be afraid. Be very afraid. |